


Fifteen Minutes and Counting

by Tallulah_Rasa



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor, The program goes public
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-14
Updated: 2015-01-14
Packaged: 2018-03-03 21:31:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2888612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tallulah_Rasa/pseuds/Tallulah_Rasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the program goes public, SG-1 faces one of its greatest challenges.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fifteen Minutes and Counting

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in many years ago, and probably veers off from canon reality during S7. The title's a nod to Andy Warhol, who predicted in the late 1960s that eventually everyone would be famous for fifteen minutes.

"Hi, I'm Daniel Jackson," Daniel said to yet another milling group of academics. Jack waited for the inevitable, which followed as it had umpteen times before. "I'm involved with the Stargate Program."

Accompanying Daniel to this international archeological conference was turning out to be one of SG-1's most onerous – and annoying – missions. Though Daniel had not yet presented his paper, the contents had somehow been leaked. The response had been strongly divided; rapturous enthusiasm on one hand, pointed disbelief on the other. Jack was less than comfortable, faced with two warring camps with no easily-identifiable outward markings. Then, too, the current meet-and-greet was loud and frenzied, and Jack could see that Daniel was getting a little glazed.

Jack tried again to steer Daniel toward the rendezvous point he'd set up with Teal'c and Sam, but the conference room, despite its size, was too crowded for much maneuvering. It was also loud and hot, and after extended recon, Jack still couldn't locate a refreshments table. He would have killed for a canteen.

The immediate gaggle of archeologists finally melted back into the crowd, buzzing about possible alternate interpretations of the something-or-other, so Jack guided Daniel into a relatively quiet corner. "Why do you keep doing that?" he demanded.

"What's he doing now, Sir?" Sam asked, zooming in on them from two-o'clock, a granola bar in hand and Teal'c in tow.

"Introducing himself," Jack said, his tone implying that Daniel's recent actions had put him right up there with Felger and Kinsey. "To everyone who walks up to him."

"What am I supposed to do?" Daniel asked, eyeing Sam's granola bar.

"Daniel, the program went public months ago. Your face has been on every newspaper, magazine and television station on earth, not to mention that right here, right now, we're at an international meeting so you can discuss the findings of the Stargate program. I think people pretty much know who you are," Jack said. He eyed Sam's granola bar, too. "You found the refreshments? I looked all during that last guy's talk, and I couldn't find them. What did they do, bury them under something?"

"Hey, I brought this from home," Sam said, raising a protective hand around her granola bar. Jack took an unconscious step back. Teal'c smiled.

Daniel ignored the by-play. "I don't know," he said with a shrug. "They might, they might not."

Jack turned to him. "You mean, sometimes they really do bury the refreshments? I have to tell you, Daniel, archeologists are the squirreli—"

"What? No!" Daniel said. "Of course they don't – Jack, you can't assume that everyone knows who I am, or what I look like. Or that they care, even. Just because you think we're a big deal, it doesn't mean that—"

"Daniel," Jack demanded, "do you think Mother Teresa used to go around saying, 'Hi, I'm Mother Teresa, I do a little work with the poor'?"

Sam gave him a look. "Well, actually, yes, Sir," she said. Teal'c raised an eyebrow. Daniel made a face and nodded.

"Okay," Jack conceded. "Bad example. What about—last month, at that meeting with all the physicists, Carter. Did you feel a need to go around introducing yourself?"

"Well, I had a military aide with me the whole time. He introduced me to everyone."

"McKay probably didn't bother introducing himself to anyone," Daniel said thoughtfully.

"Exactly," Jack said.

Daniel frowned. "I don't think I want McKay as a role model," he said. "I mean, he's a bright guy, and all, but I've known Goa'uld with better interpersonal skil—"

"Excuse me," a young woman interrupted, making a beeline for Daniel. "I—"

"Hi," Daniel said, extending his right hand. "I'm Daniel Jackson. I work with the Stargate program."

"Started the Stargate program," Sam said.

" _Is_ the Stargate program," Jack insisted.

Teal'c merely loomed, nodding his head in a way that communicated, _What they said_.

"Whatever," the young woman said. "Look, do you know where the restroom is?"

"Out the main door," Daniel said with a perfectly straight face. He looked directly at the young woman, avoiding Jack's eyes. "Down the hall, second door on the right."

"Thanks," the woman said with a heartfelt sigh. "First useful thing I've heard here today." She turned toward the door, and then turned back. "But hey – you might want to try a new scam, you know? You don't look a thing like that Jackson guy." She turned again and disappeared into the crowd.

"You were saying, Jack?" Daniel said after a carefully silent moment.

"Well," Jack said. "Apparently she doesn't watch a lot of TV. Or read any newspapers or magazines. Or see well. Or, possibly, at all."

"Maybe she just really needed the bathroom," Sam suggested.

"I do not believe that any of these theories satisfactorily explain that woman's behavior," Teal'c said.

"Yeah, well, archaeologists," Jack said. "Nothing can explain them. They all have their heads buried under piles of—"

"Thanks, Jack," Daniel interrupted, trying not to smile.

"Any time," Jack said.

"Excuse me," said a young man with longish red hair, a plate full of cookies, and an illegibly-scrawled name on the badge proclaiming he was from the University of Minnesota. "Are—"

"He's Dr. Flanders," Jack said, pointing to Daniel. "Dr. Ned Flanders. He specializes in…"

"Egyptology," Sam said, giving Jack a look.

"Alien cultures," Teal'c said at the same time.

"Out the main door," Daniel said with a sigh. "Down the hall, second door on the right. Hey, where'd you get the cookies?"

But the young man merely made a hasty retreat.

"Not very friendly," Jack observed.

"Let's go find the cookies," Sam said. "I'm starving."

"As am I," Teal'c said. "I regret that I have been so far unable to locate the refreshments."

"Daniel will find them," Sam said, taking Daniel's arm. "That's what he does best – he's the peaceful explorer who finds…"

"Cookies?" Daniel asked, not bothering to hide his smile this time.

"Whatever we need," Sam said firmly. "Which, in this case, yeah, is a tray of cookies."

"Or muffins," Jack said. "Or, you know, I could go for a nice turkey sandwich…"

"Indeed," Teal'c said, as they took off into the swirling crowd of archeologists.

"Really, I don't know what we'd do without you, Daniel," Sam went on, and she flashed Daniel a reassuring smile before moving forward to take point.

Jack nodded as he stepped to Daniel's side, guiding him through the crowd in Sam's wake. "Yup," he said, listening for the sound of Teal'c taking up position behind them. "We're certainly lucky to be working with you, uh…what was your name again?"

End


End file.
